GREETING CARD ROMEO & JULIET

From Divine Play, pp. 114-115

From the Hellmark Hill of Fame production of Romeo and Juliet
Sponsored by Hellmark Cards, Ltd.—Act II, Scene ii:

ROMEO [As Juliet appears at a window above him]
Your face, your eyes, like sun and stars,
So bright I just can’t speak.
I wish that I could be the glove
That’s stuck against your cheek!

JULIET
Poor me!

ROMEO
I love to listen to you talk
And watch you stand above me.
You’re cuter than the angel that
Tops off the Christmas tree!

JULIET
Oh you, you! Why’d you have to be you?
With a name like Montague!
If you really love me, you can bet
I’ll change my name from Capulet!

ROMEO
Should I speak or stay and hide?
Gosh, I’m all confused inside!

JULIET
Which part is Montague? Your heart?
Your hand, your foot, your face, your butt?
You can still smell the flowers and not know their stupid names.
Why can’t cute boys be the same?
Romeo! I got a deal for thee!
Give up your little name and you get all of me!

ROMEO
I’ll take it, sweet thing!
I got the yang if you got the yin!

JULIET
What kind of perverted creep
Would listen in on my soliloquy?

ROMEO
I got no name, because you hate it.
I’m gonna burn my birth certificate!

JULIET
You sound like Romeo Montague.

ROMEO
If you want me to be someone else, that’s cool.

JULIET
How’d you get over the wall? You’re good!
But you’re dead if my family finds you, dude!

ROMEO
Baby, my love for you’s like wings.
And if you love me, I can do anything!

JULIET
If my cousins knew we were together,
They’d cut you up real bad for sure!

ROMEO
Every time you look at me, I’m just like jelly.
Just let my love in, they can’t do nothin’ to me!

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About Tom Ukinski

Tom Ukinski is an attorney in state government in the Midwest. He's been writing plays, novels, short stories, comedy sketches and screenplays for many years.
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